Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

I'm going as the joker for halloween

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

h

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

Click here to end the world.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

All of these jokes are about white people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...