What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

taking out the trash... at night

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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