Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Click here to end the world.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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