- Anti Joke

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

My jeans

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

Prostitution is bad.......

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

What's one plus one? two.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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