What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why was the man alone? Because he was tied to a tree.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops