what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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