Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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