Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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hey guys im gay

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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