So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

there once was a frog with no leggs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops