Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Knock knock It's open, come in

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

Nero, sure you are okay?

There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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