Guess what? You guessed it.

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

My dad

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

I will create more jobs for americans

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...