Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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