Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Peas

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did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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