A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

1+1=2

kennah campion when she talks

What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

Q; what did the gangster say after he and his gang robbed a bank? A;Hey boys lets go drink some soy milk (After that his gang killed him) but the moral of the story is to not rob banks or take drugs

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

what kind of dog can tiptoe

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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