Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops