What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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