You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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