How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops