Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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