What is brown and sticky? A stick.

How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

The cream, it is coming

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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