why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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How can you tell if a woman is stupid? Yell the word "STUPID'' and see if she turns around.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops