what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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To momma's missing so many teeth it looks like her tongues in jail

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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