why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops