What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you're happy and you know it get a life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops