Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

nolan is gay

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

why is this joke funny because your laughing

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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