My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Small Penis.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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1+2 = 6

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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