how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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