Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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Rebecca Black

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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