Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops