why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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School

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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how do you win a game try your best

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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I just drank a cola.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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