Knock Knock Who's there

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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