Whats worse than suicide? death

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops