Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

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Women's Rights..

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops