A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Charlie Sheen

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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