What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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I have a really funny joke.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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VITAMIN C!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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