What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -27

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops