What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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I asked her where you were.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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What's one plus one? two.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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