Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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matt is fat

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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