- Anti Joke

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

Santa isn't real

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

Allah walked into AK Bar