Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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