Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

how man

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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