Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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24

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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