Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops