how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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So theres a man, a horse, and a piglet in a helicopter. Upon noticing this, the pilot jumps out of the plane and the animals go crashing to their doom.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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nolan is gay

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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someone called someone else a frog

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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