Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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