Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops