- Anti Joke

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. leaves

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

No it doesnt..

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. leaves

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

No it doesnt..

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. leaves