I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops