A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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