Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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24

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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