What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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A guy thought it could be funny to write a joke that is not and post it on a social network. And did it

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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