What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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