How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops