What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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outside your comfort zone

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Why was the boy mentally retarded? Because his mother was a tree

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops