CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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